Dr. Barton Goldsmith
Personal growth is a process of developing new attitudes, skills, and behaviors to improve your life and fulfill your highest potential. If you have done some of this work before, you know its value. If this is your first time and you are in the right frame of mind, you can use it to move your life forward in ways you may not have imagined.
Personal growth has been a lifetime pursuit for me. I have been a psychotherapist for over 30 years, and before that I was what you might call a personal-growth junkie.
Growing up nerdy before it was cool, I never felt like I was with it, or equal to the other guys.
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Personal growth as a young man took me to a place where I knew I could live the way I wanted to. I became the captain of my own ship and developed the desire and abilities to lend a hand to others. I took workshop after workshop and eventually led them. I saw several psychologists and therapists and eventually became one.
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The work that I did opened me up to things larger than myself. It was such a natural progression that it never felt like work. Instead, it felt like I was living my life in the right way, and I realized that this is how everyone wants to feel.
Perhaps the best tool I have used over the years is "positive thinking," which is about training your mind to latch on to the good thoughts and expel the bad. Simply put, we must teach ourselves to look at the glass half full. Positive thinking helps you deal with difficult situations and makes your life more comfortable.
Most people are not natural positive thinkers, but positive thinking is easy enough to learn when you consider how much better it feels than the alternative. If you are interested, there are many workshops and self-help books that can teach you the steps. "The Power of Positive Thinking," by Norman Vincent Peale, was the first book on the subject for many of us.
If you know you could use more self-empathy but you don't like the idea of doing "therapy," think of this as self-soothing or positive thinking "training." Whatever you call it, please take the steps necessary to do a good thing for yourself. We all go through tough times at one time or another. The good news is that if you engage in a lifestyle that embraces personal growth, it makes the rough patches a little smoother.
This process can help you work through many of your blocks, doubts and difficulties, but it is no replacement for medical treatment. If you suffer from depression or anxiety or ever have the desire to hurt yourself or anyone else, please seek out a licensed professional. Mental health assistance has never been more available. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. Frankly, it's wrong when you don't.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith is a psychotherapist. Email him at Barton@bartongoldsmith.com.
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